Today's a new day, and there is no sunshine / Nothing but clouds, and it's dark in my heart . . .
Kirk Franklin sings it well. I’m feelin’ it – the darkness. Been feelin’ it for a wee while now.
In past, I might have denied it, swept it under the rug, smiled when I was crying inside. Today, I readily confess that I’ve been having a trying, difficult time.
My mother’s had many milestones. Given she’s 90, she functions well, but her short-term memory is poor. It frightens—terrifies—me. Hopefully, what I’ve read is true: she’s simply suffering from old-age forgetfulness and not that wretched “A” disease that seems to be running rampant among the elderly.
I want the mother I used to know; she wasn’t always the kindest being, but she was “Mom”. Now, I am. I do the best I can, but I’m not always very good at it. Concealing fears and worries is difficult for someone who wears her heart on her sleeve.
God’s been incredibly patient, listening to my anger, frustration, fears.
It will get better / Better / It will get better / Better / It will get better / God is in control . . .
Hezekiah Walker sings it well, too. I must keep the faith and remember that all our trials and tribulations (and some are extremely challenging, if not enervating) do serve to help us learn and grow. And strengthen.